How to Handle the Overwhelm of Managing Chronic Pain

Feeling overwhelmed is a reality for most people living with chronic pain. The daily juggle of symptoms, diagnoses, appointments, responsibilities, and treatments can create a sense of helplessness that’s genuinely paralyzing. What do you do when everything just seems too much to tackle? From both experience in practice—and, in our own lives—the answer is both straightforward and actionable: prioritize, then execute.

Recognizing Overwhelm

The first step, though it sounds simple, is recognizing you are overwhelmed. We often notice this not through logic, but rather by how we behave. Maybe you’re shorter with others, more frustrated, or just unable to do the basics. If you find yourself thinking, “Why can’t I handle this?” pause and realize—this is what overwhelm looks like when living with chronic pain.

Why Does Overwhelm Happen?

Patients with complex pain conditions often describe feeling helpless. Not only are their symptoms multifaceted, but so are their lives—family, work, and responsibilities swirl together when you have limited capacity, making it hard to know where to start. Complexity itself becomes disabling. The more pieces on your plate, the more difficult it is to see a way forward. Sometimes, this leads to emotional reactions: frustration, withdrawal, or even aggression, not because you’re an angry person, but because you simply don’t know where to begin.

The Prioritize and Execute Approach

When things feel impossible, the goal isn’t to solve everything at once. Instead, make a list of challenges you’re facing, and what you can control. Write them out. This does two things: it gets the worries out of your head and makes them tangible. 

Once you see your list, ask: “What needs my attention first?” Prioritize the most urgent or impactful problem—the one that, if tackled, would create the most relief or benefit. Do not worry about the rest right now. Simply pick number one. 

Now it’s time to execute. Focus on that single issue. Take one actionable step, however small, toward resolution. Maybe it’s booking an appointment, making a phone call, or simply resting.

Repeat this cycle. Once you’ve made progress on issue one, move to the next item on the list, and so on. If making decisions feels impossible, lean toward the “most doable” instead of the “most ideal.” And if capacity is truly limited, sometimes the answer is to delegate, ask for help, or simply postpone less essential items.

Managing Capacity and Expectations

One of the hardest truths is that nobody can manufacture unlimited energy or hours. When you’re at capacity, you can’t just will yourself to do more. If you try to push through again and again, burnout or flares follow. Instead, reduce stressors where possible, pace yourself, and be realistic about your expectations. Sometimes, you’ll need to “rehabilitate” your capacity by doing less before you can handle more. That’s not failure—it’s respect for your real limits and how you back to baseline as soon as possible.

Helping Others Who Feel Overwhelmed

If you’re supporting someone with chronic pain who seems overwhelmed, your best move isn’t to solve everything for them. Instead, help them sort their list, prioritize, and choose just one thing to work on. Remind them, kindly, that everything at once is impossible—and unnecessary.

Our Takeaway For You

Feeling overwhelmed happens to every patient—really, every person—at some point. The solution isn’t willpower or random chance. It’s a deliberate process: recognize the feeling, list your concerns, prioritize what matters most, and execute one step at a time. Life with chronic pain is complex, but you don't have to tackle it all at once. Take it one manageable piece at a time.

Using our Own Your Care pyramid resource, you can better tease out what you can directly impact, in what order, and what you need to outsource.

For more insight and practical advice, tune in to episode 31 of It’s Not in Your Head Podcast.