Ep. 27 Ask Us Anything (AUA-1)

Episode Summary

Strategic Empathy: Handling Chronic Pain and Invisible Illnesses

In the inaugural Q&A episode of 'It's Not In Your Head,' Dan and Juz discuss strategies for managing chronic pain, addressing both patient and provider perspectives. They tackle how to respond to common misconceptions about chronic pain, offer quick ways to explain one's condition without going into detail, and share methods for recognizing personal capacity and setting boundaries. Additionally, they delve into how doctors can better support chronic pain patients through strategic empathy and acknowledging the limits of medical knowledge. Tune in for practical advice and empathetic approaches to living with and understanding chronic pain.

Episode Overview

• Hosts: Dr. Dan (doctor) and Justine (pain coach) introduce the first Ask Us Anything episode.

• Purpose: Address listener-submitted questions about managing chronic pain for both patients and providers.

Key Discussion Points

1. Responding to Common Doubts and Comments

• Challenge: Listeners often hear dismissive comments like "You're too young," "It's not that bad," or "Just walk/lose weight”, particular with pain conditions that are not as obvious to the naked eye like Complex Regional Pain Syndrome or hypermobily

• Strategy:

  • Justine shares her experience with invisible illness and the frustration of being judged for looking "normal”, using parking in handicap spots as an example. Listen to gain the courage to do what you need to for yourself!

  • The phrase “Wanna swap?” is suggested as a simple, powerful response to shift perspective and prompt empathy.

  • Dr. Dan emphasizes using silence after “Wanna swap?” to let the other person consider the reality of living with chronic pain, and gives examples around back pain.

2. Communicating Your Condition Quickly

• Elevator Pitch:

  • Justine advises using simple, relatable language (e.g., "I have a rare pain syndrome that makes it hard to use my leg") and only sharing what feels comfortable, stressing that patients are not obligated to explain in detail.

  • Dr. Dan suggests using broad terms like "arthritis" or "back pain" to help others relate.

  • Pre-prepared responses can help de-escalate uncomfortable situations and decrease anxiety.

3. Creating Boundaries and Recognizing Capacity

• Setting Boundaries:

  • Justine discusses the importance of honest communication about limitations and surrounding oneself with supportive people.

  • Recognizing capacity involves awareness around monitoring factors like hydration, nutrition, recovery, and social support.

• Reframing Capacity:

  • Dr. Dan encourages a "half glass full" outlook—focusing on what you can do, not just what you can’t.

  • Example: A patient who can now play nine holes of golf (with a cart) instead of none, reframing progress positively and giving strategies to tackle the task.

4. Breaking Down Activities (Golf Example)

• Gradual Return:

  • Dr. Dan explains how to break down a goal (like returning to golf) into manageable steps (e.g., walking shorter distances, using a cart, practicing specific shots).

  • Justine introduces the concept of a "pain menu"—having a list of activities suited for different pain levels (green/yellow/red days).

5. Nonverbal Communication Tools

• Wristbands:

  • Dr. Dan describes wristbands with green/red sides to signal to family/friends how you’re feeling without needing to explain verbally.

  • Other color-coded or nonverbal cues can help communicate boundaries and capacity so you don’t have to explain so much every time.

6. How Doctors Can Better Support Chronic Pain Patients

• Strategic Empathy:

  • Dr. Dan discusses the challenge for doctors to balance problem-solving with empathy.

  • Technique: Acknowledge the patient’s distress (“That sounds terrible/frustrating”) and ask permission to continue problem-solving so you don’t get distracted and can do your job, but not come across with poor bedside manner or like you don’t care.

  • This helps patients feel seen and validated while allowing the doctor to stay focused.

• Saying “I Don’t Know, But…”

  • Dr. Dan highlights the importance of doctors admitting uncertainty and outlining next steps, rather than dismissing the patient’s experience.

  • This builds trust and acknowledges the complexity of chronic pain.

7. Episode Wrap-Up

• Summary:

  • The episode covered strategies for responding to comments, communicating about pain, setting boundaries, pacing, and how healthcare providers can better support patients.

• Next Steps:

  • Listeners are encouraged to submit more questions via Instagram

    • DM @iniyhpodcast, or

    • Respond to Juz’s Q requests in her Instagram stories (@resilientwarriorcoaching)

  • Email us at danandjuz@iniyh.com.